t h e (c h l o e) c o n s p i r a c y: Snapshots

♫: Near Death Experience - Andrew Bird

So after typing out that ridiculous little diatribe about photography on Monday (being so moving, blah blah blah) (being so great! blah blah blah), my 5D had the nerve to completely bite the dust. It did the camera-equivalent of sticking its tongue out at me, I swear, only it was exactly like when I was a kid and my dad told me that my face would stick that way.

Its face stuck that way...

{croak.}

...and it stuck that way with its little reflective mirror dealie flapping oddly and immobile in the wind.

As it turns out, this is a pretty common problem for the Canon EOS 5D's so Canon says that they will fix it for free. It is a five year old camera, however, and pre-used even before I got my hands on it--it has served me well, but it is probably time for an upgrade. All of my cameras have been pre-owned, and it would be awfully nice to finally get my own baby to break, yes?

BREAK IN! We'll see. Maybe.

Anyway, back to my snapshots-from-the-past series. We went on a really fun cruise with a bunch of our friends a few years ago; and while I don't remember much from this particular evening, I do remember that right before this picture was snapped my extremely-astute-and-not-at-all-inebriated twin sister wondered aloud if this brightly lit, oddly unmarked and mysterious room...was the ships' control room:

{So as it turns out we were really drunk, and me and my teeth were totally having a blast shooting Jeffy in the head}

You know--sandwiched right between the dance club and casino? Where Captain Mario and his first mate Luigi steer the ship? Your cruise ship didn't have one? Bummer.

And now for an outfit--I still have a few old OOTD snapshots off my dead camera, whew:

Jacket: Emerson Made Waxed Moto Jacket (similar at Express) (similar at UO) (and another option here)

Top: ASOS, old (similar at F21) (similar color top here)

Skirt: J Crew Factory Factory textured cotton mini (buy it here) (similar at F21) (longer length option at LOFT)

Belt: Urban Outfitters (buy it here)

Flats: Lanvin Python Metallic Flats (similar by Lanvin) (similar by Steve Madden, on sale) (similar here for under $50)
Bag: Lanvin Metallic Python Happy Mini Pop (similar by Lanvin) (similar here for under $100) (another option under $100) (and a clutch option under $50 here)

♫: Make A Change -Skankin' Pickle

One of my favorite things (aside from good food, good music, and a secret, bizarre fascination with really awful reality TV shows) (soooo in other words: I am totally watching The Kandi Factory as I type this) is photography.

I am not very good at it, I mostly just punch buttons and spin dials until something happens, but this might be the year for me to change that. I hate feigning dumb as an excuse for laziness, no matter what my blonde locks might otherwise advertise, so perhaps it is time for a class or two. Or twenty. Thousand. Stay tuned.

When I was in high school I had a good friend that videotaped everything. I mean everything--from the dumb to the even dumber, he had it all on tape. Concerts, skateboarding, pranks, 4th of July fireworks, first loves, first hates, road trips to Minneapolis, road trips to Omaha, playing billiards in a dark basement room with strobe lights (I am still pretty sure this is the fastest way to end up on the local news, by the way: Kid Takes A Strobe-Lit Cue Ball To The Head, Friends Claim That Dude, They Were Totally Trying To Break The Ball And Not, Like, Their Friend's Face) (Thankfully it never happened, although we did have a few close calls), hanging out, whatever.

He would record everything, and then he would then carefully edit the videos, splicing the very best moments together with a soundtrack full of 90's punk, ska, and hip hop. We then would all gather to watch them--to watch ourselves in our own little personal Amusing Movie Of Life, playing out however we saw fit.

We would gather sometimes in the basement of his parent's home, other times in the basement of my parent's home, piled 6 to 8 deep on couches and chairs and the floor. We would watch and re-live a brilliance that only the self-absorbed brain of a teenager could conjure up about oneself; it was a hallucinatory heroism that would only grow greater with each and every viewing of the videos. We would watch the tapes and then off we would go again, off for more adventures, and off to frantically film and edit it all.

In spite of the good times, I would sometimes (silently) wonder how we could make video camera capture more. Could we make it capture the thick, muggy summer air, the deep belly-aches that only come with laughing too much, and the sweet smell of the grassy fields in South Dakota as we traipsed and traveled? How about the cricket-y, star-filled night sky? And the musty fog rolling over the green hills in the morning?

Those things provided an important feeling of innocence in our lives back then, after all; they provided a palpable-yet-naive perception of a charming life where nothing ugly, tragic, or painful could ever exist. A life where we were all safe and tidy and secure, a life where we were silly yet all fully in control.

As we would later discover--the video camera would not do those things. It could never do those things.

Regardless, I loved the videos and still look back on those days fondly. But even back then I always felt that photography was more my style, and the older I get the more my love of it grows. While in my youth I craved being able to know and control the entire story, as an adult I find an odd peace with knowing very little. I even find a strange solitude with things being a little haphazard and a bit out of control.

There is simply something that I really enjoy about a great photograph, about catching a quick moment in time and viewing it without any sort of soundtrack, storyline, or edited scenes cautiously cushioning the moment. What was going on before the picture? How about after? Was it happy? Great? Funny? Chaotic? Boring? Sad? Painful? Really painful, like a cue ball to the face?

It is whatever we want it to be. The viewer of a photograph will always attach their own feelings and thoughts to it, no matter what the photographer originally intended, and no two people will ever share the exact same views.

It would be boring, might I add, if they did.

Blogging (for me) is much the same. I used to want to be able to control everything that happened here, and everything that happened in the wilderness of the world wide web much in the sane way that my friends and I wanted to control and edit the videos of ourselves 15 years ago. I am the one typing here, after all, so shouldn't I be in control?

But as veterans of the internet know, you can only control so much. I can only do my best to share tiny pieces of my life here (albeit the mostly-happy-and-edited pieces), to hit the "publish post" button when I am done, and to then leave it to you, the reader, to decide for yourself what to think, love, hate, and feel.

It would be boring, might I add, if you didn't.

So with all of this, I thought I would share some old, random snapshots in my next few posts. It is all good in this hood, you guys--enjoy: