Hello, Little Pretties.

Shell with Charmeuse Trim

Woven Shift Dress With Petal Details


Textured Sleeve Scoopneck

Charmeuse Blooms Print Dress

Short 3-Strand Wrapped Pearl Necklace

I think Ann Taylor Loft is going to be the death of me, readers. And I'm totally just as shocked as you are, because a year ago I wouldn't have gone even within 500 feet of the store. Ha, no way. But now? I can't seem to stay out of it, and all of its new, shiny, lovely awesomeness.

THE OFFICIAL DEATH OF ME, READERS.

CHLOE WAS MURDERED BY A MRS. ANN.

A MRS. ANN TAYLOR!

And she was very nicely dressed.

Oh-but-and-hey! For a limited time, receive a $25 savings card for every $50 you spend at ATL- details here. Happy shopping, 'cuz I'm not going down in a big, fashionably-clad-in-rosettes-and-ruffles-and-charmeuse flame by myself, readers.

Oh no. I'm totally taking you guys down with me. You're welcome! :)

Spy It, Buy It (Shake Your Pom-Pom)

I am a big hat person, readers- not only because it's a must (hello-Lupus-turning-me-into-a-leetle-vampire!) but also because in the winter, they also keep me and my non-hood-having-coat-wearing-self warm.

I also think that if you have to wear a hat 24/7 while outdoors, you're allowed to have a bit of a sense of humor about it, and these knit hats are fabulous but should also be worn with a tongue tucked firmly into the side of your cheek. Love them!

Spy It:

Eugenia Kim Stormy Earflap Hat
You might recognize this one, darlings- I posted about it a few days back. Eugenia Kim is the ultimate in awesome headwear, but it also comes at a price. A very expensive little (big) price. Sob.

Buy It:

Forever 21 Pom Snow Cap
Forever 21 to the rescue! This looks nearly identical to the Eugenia Kim cap but costs under $10. It might lack the overall luxuriousness of the Eugenia Kim cap, but if you're like me and can't exactly afford to buy 300 different hats that cost $200 apiece, it's perfect.

It also comes in cream and red. Shake your pom-pom indeed.

Outfit Of The Day (Facile Fashion)

One of the most common questions I get asked (aside from "How do you do your hair?" which is so simple- hairspray, lots of bobby pins, and confidence) (and, "What's Petunia studying in college?" and the answer to that is "bark-eology", of course) (and, "Can I put you in my pocket?" and the answer to that is, uhh) is:

WHAT DO YOU WEAR WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE DRESSING UP, CHLOE, PLEASE TELL.

Oh, how to answer this question. I would like to deftly smile, innocently tilt my head to the side, clear my throat out of nervousness, and answer, "Well, of course- I wear all this stuff." but if my readers are one thing, it's this- NOT VERY GULLIBLE I mean AWESOME. They are very, very awesome.

And also very curious. And a bunch of suspiciously smart cookies, actually, if you really must know.

So I decided last week to snap pictures two outfits that are on the more casual side. My repertoire for casualness is simple and admittedly a bit monotonous: A J Crew tee, a pair of jeans, a fun belt, some cute flats, and perhaps a pearl necklace (or two) and there you have it.

I am Chloe, Patron Saint of Sequins*:

Top: J Crew Sparkling Tissue Tee in Champagne (click here- on sale for $29.99, eek!)
Jeans: American Eagle Artist Jeans (click here)
Shoes: Go Jane Giraffe Print Bow Flats (similar here) (and similar here)
Belt: J Crew Serengeti Belt (similar here) (and here for $12!)


Did you know the Patron Saint of Sequins* can levitate? She can! And Patron Saint of Sequins* also gets the random big zit the size of a third eyeball on her forehead right before heading out on a fancy date night and/or to work, and never on a day off when absolutely no one will see her. See? The Patron Saint of Sequins* is just like everyone else:

Yay.

That outfit is pretty low-key and tame, huh. But then I get all wild and crazy and well, readers? If some of you are shocked and can't help to raise your eyebrow a bit in both confusion and in disgust over the next set of pictures...I can't say I entirely blame you.

BECAUSE I, READERS, I ALSO WEAR UGGS. Now I am the Patron Saint of Crochet**:

Top: J Crew Necklace Tee (click here - and also on sale!)
Bottoms: William Rast Jerri Skinnies (click here)
Boots: Ugg Cardy's in Oatmeal (click here- and oh, how I love that fig color!)

They aren't just any Uggs, however- they're the awesome Ugg Cardy's, which I bought and put on sometime last winter and haven't stopped wearing since. They're an absolute *must* in order to make winter in Colorado a bit more bearable, mmmhm. They are so lovely and nice and warm; they're like a work-appropriate-boot-slipper. LOVE!

So there you have it. That's me. Hooray. There'll be OOTD's that are much more interesting coming up this week, I promise!





*I actually have no idea what "patron saint" means. After a few confusing searches on google I gave up, so I'm going to assume it means "a really freaking awesome diety-like Chloe" but you never quite know with those Catholics. I just want to make sure that I'm not accidentally signing myself up for months of Fish Frys and feeling guilty come Spring, because oh god how I hate seafood.

**And shouldn't I be a matron saint? Is there such thing as a matron saint? School me, plz, because I don't want to accidentally be referring to myself as a "fatherly saint of glitz and needlework" because if it's ONE THING I'M NOT, readers, it's a flamboyantly gay fatherly-like man from Fargo, North Dakota. We can cross that creative little moniker offa the list right now.

@9a87dsf09a87fdaf pfffffffffffftMADMENSEASONFINALE!!

So good. So good. So good.

Had to watch it twice. I would have watched it a third and a fourth (and a fifth!) time if AMC had kept running it, but unfortunately they cut to other programming. Which I suppose is good, because I still had to feed the dogs and eat dinner and take a shower and speak in rational, coherent sentences to my Husband and function like a (somewhat) normal human being.

SO GOOD.

& I still can't quite breathe correctly. Gasp!

So good.

THOUGHTS??

(And oh, Mr. Roger "Silver Fox" Sterling and your one-liners of freaking perfection, how I've missed you on this season so. Good to have you back!)

('Cept you aren't really back. You're going away for another nine months. OMG Matt Weiner & AMC, you jerks. I hate you. But I love you. LOVE HATE.)

(AND JOANIE JOANIE JOANIE!)

Holiday Dresses 101 (Don't be Tardy for the...oh GOD DAMNIT.)

First, let's set somethin' straight here. When I originally sat down to type up this little post, I wanted to write something about holiday parties. Yay, parties! But a little problem, readers, and I am quite sure that I'm not the only one suffering with this demon right now.

Every time I think of the word "party", I also now think of the word "tardy". And don't be tardy for the party oh GOD DAMNIT my brain is BLEEDING. DAMN YOU KIM ZOLCIAK, DAMN YOU!

So to throw ourselves right around this little matter, we are nowonly going to use the term "fête" on this blog during this holiday season. Fête is french for "festival or feast". Ooh la la, you say. Ooh la la indeed.

Because I do know a little french, readers. I'm no dummy. I may be from the Midwest, but I pride myself on being quite fluent in other languages. Je m'apelle Chloe, je le rendevouz avec David.

See? I just said, "My name is Chloe, I look just like Heidi Klum and I like baby bunnies named David."

Only us silly Americans would use a word to describe a happy celebration that can also be rhymed with "tardy" (or ha, farty!). Fête is much better. Fête is pronounced like "fate", which rhymes with "elate". It also rhymes with "gyrate" and "castrate". OMG I know, right? Much better, you're thinking.

Me too!

(AND BACK OFF KIM YOU WHOOR. "DON'T IMPREGNATE AT THE FETE" IS TOTALLY MINE. Grr!)

So horrible songs by talentless hacks aside, I digress. It's (already) beginning to look a lot like Christmas, isn't it? Holiday decorations are already up at the mall, commercials on TV are already reminding us there are only(!!) 45 more shopping days before Christmas, and Husband is already getting angry and practicing his SILENT STARE OF DEATH in the mirror.

Aw, yay Christmas. It really is the most wonderful time of the year!

One of my favorite things about the season are pretty holiday dresses. Of course. Holiday dresses are always made in the most lushest of fabrics. Heavy brocades, rich velvets, and jovial jacquards fill the racks of the stores, waiting to be bought and worn to all of the fancy fêtes.

So I'm going to share some of my favorite picks with you.

Please don't be farty for the party, readers:

Marchesa Beaded-Bodice Satin Dress
This dress costs only as much as your first born and/or 3.8 baby Petunias. Hooray for practicality (but gosh, it's so pretty!).

Nanette Lepore Bombay Dress
Bow down to Ms. Lepore. I love the bold red of this dress, and the pleating around the bodice is divine!

Ever Marsa Kimono Dress
This dress is perhaps for a more casual party, or if you really are farty and don't feel like shoving yourself into a form-fitting dress for a party. Match with a buttery pair of cognac-colored boots, add a pretty necklace (or some earrings), and ta da! Insta-casual-chic, readers.

Black Halo Paulina Dress
Sometimes subtle is smart; while the color of this dress is a little boring, the draping most certainly is not. Accent with a fun, bold color of shoes and clutch and you're set!

Elizabeth and James Hammered Satin Dress in Plum
The color! The shape. I die. I am dead.

J Crew Crinkle Cascade Dress
This is one of the (very) few things I liked out of J Crew's recent "new arrivals"; oh, how I love this in the 'black plum' color.

White House Black Market Asymmetrical Ruffle Dress
Eek! One shoulder! Ruffles!

Banana Republic Silk Rosette Dress
Seriously. Stunning. Perfection. And you can also take 25% off now through November 10th with code "BRNOV25". Yay!

Free People Leaf Motif Dress
Nice and sweet and I love the back detail. Love love love.

American Eagle Strapless Brocade Dress
Yes readers, this one again. I attempted to find it at my local AE this weekend and failed; I am still having visions of gold brocade (with black stripey tights! and magenta heels!) dancing in my head.

Modcloth's Building A Mystery Dress
This dress would make me feel like a cupcake. And you know what readers? Cupcakes are awesome. 'Nuff said.

Forever 21 Duo Tone Tiered Dress
The perfect dress for those that aren't afraid of a little color (or fun) for the Holidays. Dark tights with this are a must; longer-legged ladies beware (it's a very short dress!).

What's In a Name (YEAH, CLOEY.)

What's in a name? Everything, readers. I was at Nordstrom's the other night and simply died a happy-little-death over this dress:

Kate Spade "Cloey" Dress

And then I died a bit more when I got home and discovered the name of it. It's a (very common) misspelling of my name! I mean, sure, there are actual "Cloeys" running around out there, but I personally prefer "Chloe" much better. ;)

Tsk tsk. Kate Spade, you're killing me here. I almost didn't even notice the rack of Nanette Lepore next to it.

I said almost. Hee.

I'll have more reviews up later this week of the things I spied, the things I tried, and the things I really wanted to buy- including a few Nanette Lepore pieces and some of the Anthropologie new arrivals! Eeeek!

Outfit Of The Day (Ten-Hut!)

I have a very simple outfit for today, darlings. I must admit that I am thoroughly enjoying the "military-inspired' trend- something about the proportional placement of the buttons makes me feel happy and smiley and content. I am a very proportional person by nature though, readers. I think this is because I'm a Libra (the scale sign!) and I like to feel balanced.

Or maybe it's because I'm a Chloe and I might have a slight (very slight)(very slight)(very slight) (wait, one more time- very slight) hint of OCD. My favorite purses to carry are those satchels that have two pockets placed evenly on the front (eeek Chloe Saskia!), and I freaking love Colonial-Revival houses, but preferably with two even, solid columns that greet everyone who walks through the front door.

Or hey, I'm not picky- I'd totally take four columns, too. I'm just waiting patiently for Petunia to finish college and for her lucrative acting career to take off. Waiting, waiting.

(But isn't it amusing how the crooked rose painting in my background never quite bothers me? If I had two pictures hanging side by side, though, I would be much more inclined to fix it. FACT.)

(AND OMG THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ATTRIBUTED TO THE FACT THAT I'M AN IDENTICAL TWIN. Nuh uh, whatever guys, no way. Shush yer funny faces.)

Jacket: Forever 21 (similar style right here!)
Tank: American Eagle Outfitters (my favorite layering tanks ever- click here)
Jeans: Oh, do I even have to say? (click here)
Boots: Loynes by ALDO (click here)
Bag: Rebecca Minkoff Nikki in Peacock (click here)
Belt: J Crew from last year (similar style here - on sale!)

And because it's the weekend and I have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning, I've handpicked a few of my favorite "military-inspired" styles right below. I am seriously oogling that bright red AE sweater ohrightnow:

And sigh. Bliss. XO. XO. XO. Wait (one more!)- XO.